I ruined the Mickey picture

As some of you may - or may not - know, I recently took a family vacation to none other than Disneyland.  There were 14 of us.  My family, my siblings and their families, my mom and my grandma.  14.  We had a blast. 

Although Nikolai is young, I was very excited for him to meet Mickey Mouse.  He knows who Mickey is and he gets excited when Mickey is on TV, etc. 

We got to Mickey's house in ToonTown first thing.  There was barely a line, which I was happy about because Nikolai is not the most patient person (the apple doesn't fall far from the tree there people).  Nikolai saw him and tried to jump out of my arms to get to him -- how to you explain to an 18 month old it isn't your turn yet, lol! 

The look on Nikolai's face was priceless.  He was just so excited and, in turn, I was excited too.  We did what any family would do and we snapped a few pictures to commemorate the occasion. 

This is when the fail occurred. 

It must have been the excitement of it all, but I overloaded those Mickey pictures with my cheesiness - and bad hair - and wrinkles - and fat.  I look like a psychotic Mickey stalker ready to strike.  It is bad.  Really bad. 

So, when people ask for Nikolai's first pic with Mickey, this is what they'll get...

Trust me.  Leaving my hand only in there is for the best.

We did get some other really great pics, however.

Nikolai is ready to go!

So is Noelle!

Time for tea at Minnie's house

Time to meet up with a wonderful friend and Nikolai's birthday buddy!

This is my favorite pic of all - Coronado beach is beautiful :)

We had such a good time on vacation.  I feel renewed and energized - my goals are now even more clear than before...I must win the powerball so I can be on vacation every day! LOL!

Time to put up or shut up.

I am like a broken record.

"I am having a tough time eating right"

"I for some reason just didn't stay on track with my workouts this week"

"I plan to do _____."

"I promise to do better this week."

Sound familiar?  Sick of reading this on my blog all of the time? 

Me too.

I decided it was time to put up or shut up.  I can only type out my best intentions so many times before I drive myself (and all of you) crazy.  So, I did it.

Actions speak much louder than words...

Quick, stop what you are doing right now!

My awesome friend, Ali from Last Splash was kind enough to share this blog post with me.  I had never read anything from Hyperbole and a Half.  It is funny.  So funny that I am still laughing about it as I type.  So funny that I immediately emailed to friends and family and demanded they drop whatever it was they were doing to read it.

So I will tell you the same thing - stop what you are doing and read this particular post NOW.  If you've read it before, read it again.

The Year Kenny Logins Ruined Christmas

You're welcome.

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T

We all want our children (or at least I hope we all want our children) to grow up to be independent people.  We want them to depend on us for very few things, rather than just about everything.  We want them to know how to care for themselves and know how to make their own decisions. 

This is what we want.

Apparently this is also what they want.

My soon-to-be 18 month old has decided the time to be independent is NOW.  I have no problem with this emotionally.  I do not long for the days when I rocked him to sleep or for the days that I had to bottle feed him.  I am missing the gene that makes most mothers long for that.  What I do have a problem with is that Nikolai is pretty incapable of doing the things that he insists be done without my aid.

You want an example?  Sure you do!

Nikolai does not want my help putting on his coat.  He thinks he is a big boy now and big boys put on their own coats.  So he flings it and throws it over his head.  He bends forward in an effort to get the coat over his back.  He wiggles and squirms.  And then, with the coat draped over his head, Nikolai claps for himself because he has gotten his coat on. 

Imagine his disappointment when I wrestle him to the ground trying to really get his coat on.

Nikolai also believes he can walk down the stairs.  I have tried and tried to teach Nikolai to scoot down the stairs backwards.  But no.  Big boys don’t scoot down the stairs, they walk.  So, despite my efforts, Nikolai insists on walking down the stairs like the big kids.  Please note he tries to put only one foot on each step, rather than taking one step at a time.

I hold his hand, but this is a fall just waiting to happen.  After all, he is my kid and did inherit my lack of grace.

Finally, Nikolai believes he can feed himself with a spoon and fork.  Trust me, you do not even want to try to make him eat with his hands or try to feed him yourself.  Nope.  Nikolai wants you to hand over the full cup of yogurt and spoon and he can take care of it himself.  What he can also take care of in the process is getting yogurt on himself, the floor, the walls, the highchair, the cat and anything else within slingshot distance. 

Please note we no longer give him anything other than vanilla yogurt…because it is white.

My little/big kid is well on his way to being that independent person I so want him to be.  Until he gets there, just give me the “I understand” smile when you see us in the grocery store and my kid has a yogurt covered coat that is merely flung over his back and is sporting some fresh bruises courtesy of the stairs. 

Hey, nobody ever said the road to independence was a smooth one.

I lost my candle

Somewhere there is a candle burning at both ends.  If you find it, would you return it to me please?

I have always prided myself on how well I multi-task.  I could seamlessly float through the million and one things I needed to accomplish by 5:00 pm without breaking a sweat or developing a migraine.  I could hop from one mind boggling assignment to another without skipping a beat.  I could take countless interruptions without losing my place (or my very little patience). 

I suppose when you are a single mom trying to finish up undergrad and law school that by necessity you do what you have to do.  I did not have the luxury of taking a break.  I had to work.  I had to finish school.  I had to care for myself and Noelle.  I had to do these things to make sure she had the best opportunities in life.  So, I did it.  Raised a baby, worked a job, went to school full time and somehow managed to wear clean clothes most days. 

I did all of that plus I had time for family,  I spent a good deal of time with my friends, I participated in school activities, I dated my now husband, I did very well in school and I did not feel like death at the end of the day. 

In short, you could say I constantly burned the candle at both ends. 

Fast forward to the present day.  I find it difficult to get up in the morning.  I can multi-task (really, I can) but not with the same grace I did a few years ago.  I forget what I was doing when interrupted and I find it very, very difficult to take care of my two kids – and this is with the help of a very involved husband. 

What gives?

At this point my life should be easier.  I work one full time job.  I do not have school, nor the homework that results.  I am no longer a single parent and, aside from my little blog here, I do not participate in much else aside from my kids and my work. 

Additionally, I have no time for anyone and I usually feel like death at the end of the day.  Most importantly, I am a horrible, horrible friend.  By the time the kids are fed and asleep at the end of the day I just want to be alone.  I do not have the energy, nor the mental capacity, to call my friends or go out with them.  I don’t feel like I am a good conversationalist anymore because I lose focus during the conversation and have a tough time contributing the way I would like. 

I pretty much suck at life.

So, either my candle is lost or it has completely burned out. 

Nobody warned me those candles had limited wick life.  If I had known I totally would have purchased a larger one.

I Interrupt this Period of Non-Blogging...

...to AW my smarty pants :) 

SOUNDS! Yay :)