Thursday, August 11, 2011

Self Doubt

There is something in the way of my personal and professional success.
Something that creeps in and steals the spotlight from any moment of project completion, hard-work, happy thoughts, compliments and joy.
Something that eviscerates the satisfaction of darn near perfect work.
Something that finds a way to discover any tiny deviation from the goal and exploit it until day’s end.
This something capitalizes on the fear that is associated with trying something new, extending myself at work or my everyday actions.
This something causes the imagination to run wild, creating – fabricating – imagining that something has gone terribly wrong and that everyone will associate my tasks with failure.
This something likewise prevents me from ever really feeling like I have done something well.  Causes me to constantly re-think my actions, re-check my work.  Causes me to fill my dreams with fears of mistakes and worry about recourse for not being perfect. 
It has become obvious that this something needs to stop so that I can realize that when I am told I have done something well – that it means just that. 
That something needs to stop…
…because that something – is me.

3 comments:

Krystal said...

Girl, I know all about this. Push through it, you are strong and awesome!

KLZ said...

I think we all do this. But being aware will let us fight it.

Right?

Stephanie Doyle said...

I often do the same thing. Hang in there and fight it! :)