We all want our children (or at least I hope we all want our children) to grow up to be independent people. We want them to depend on us for very few things, rather than just about everything. We want them to know how to care for themselves and know how to make their own decisions.
This is what we want.
Apparently this is also what they want.
My soon-to-be 18 month old has decided the time to be independent is NOW. I have no problem with this emotionally. I do not long for the days when I rocked him to sleep or for the days that I had to bottle feed him. I am missing the gene that makes most mothers long for that. What I do have a problem with is that Nikolai is pretty incapable of doing the things that he insists be done without my aid.
You want an example? Sure you do!
Nikolai does not want my help putting on his coat. He thinks he is a big boy now and big boys put on their own coats. So he flings it and throws it over his head. He bends forward in an effort to get the coat over his back. He wiggles and squirms. And then, with the coat draped over his head, Nikolai claps for himself because he has gotten his coat on.
Imagine his disappointment when I wrestle him to the ground trying to really get his coat on.
Nikolai also believes he can walk down the stairs. I have tried and tried to teach Nikolai to scoot down the stairs backwards. But no. Big boys don’t scoot down the stairs, they walk. So, despite my efforts, Nikolai insists on walking down the stairs like the big kids. Please note he tries to put only one foot on each step, rather than taking one step at a time.
I hold his hand, but this is a fall just waiting to happen. After all, he is my kid and did inherit my lack of grace.
Finally, Nikolai believes he can feed himself with a spoon and fork. Trust me, you do not even want to try to make him eat with his hands or try to feed him yourself. Nope. Nikolai wants you to hand over the full cup of yogurt and spoon and he can take care of it himself. What he can also take care of in the process is getting yogurt on himself, the floor, the walls, the highchair, the cat and anything else within slingshot distance.
Please note we no longer give him anything other than vanilla yogurt…because it is white.
My little/big kid is well on his way to being that independent person I so want him to be. Until he gets there, just give me the “I understand” smile when you see us in the grocery store and my kid has a yogurt covered coat that is merely flung over his back and is sporting some fresh bruises courtesy of the stairs.
Hey, nobody ever said the road to independence was a smooth one.
2 comments:
My first daughter was the same way, what a fight! Every day I felt like I was fighting needlessly. I wanted her to be independent, but I wanted her to do it the right way! darnit! It took awhile, but sticking to my guns paid off! Now I have a responsible four year old, who has a fine sense of curiosity and likes asking questions and learning new things. Its rough, but hang in there!
We have this same problem. I've resorted to buying nothing but thick and creamy yogurt because it stays on the spoon better. Less likely to end up all over. Shhhh...don't tell.
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