Little Buddy Tracker Winner!

Congrats to lucky number....

Which would be the lovely:

Yay for Anastasia :) I will send you an email so I can send you the Little Buddy Tracker! You have 48 hours to respond or I will be forced to pick a new winner. Congrats!!

Didn't win?  No worries.  I have another giveaway set for next week :)

Yup, my kids have fun.

Thought I'd share this little video with you all. I think it is really cute :)



Now that you have had your dose of cuteness for the day...make sure you enter my giveaway! You only have a few hours left.

Have a good weekend everyone :)

Dream apartment...found!

So, if you have been reading my blog for a while, you probably recall me posting about being totally unable to find a new place to live.  Everywhere we looked was either too expensive, too far away, too small or just disgusting.  Not that my current apartment is horrible, but 900 sf, no garage, no playground and lugging laundry from the third to the first floor are not ideal for a family of four. 

But, my days of hunting are officially over!  We found a wonderful townhome style place to live.  Actually, we had looked at this place before, but the steep rent and even more steep pet rent caused us to walk away.  Fortunately for us, this place did away with pet rent and have an awesome special going on...so we did it!  This place has an attached garage, extra storage space, an in-unit washer/dryer, an L shaped kitchen, two huge bedrooms and the biggest walk-in closet I have ever seen.  Perfect.

We move at the end of June and I couldn't be more excited.

I, of course, will post pics.   Consider it a delayed twitter house party a la Blair from The Heir to Blair.  So excited!

Now, don't you forget about my Little Buddy Tracker Giveaway!  If you have already entered, don't forget to tweet and vote for more chances to win.

Also, help a momma blogger out and keep me in the running!  Top Mommy Blogs is the reason I get to do cool giveaways and a reason for many of my new blogger friends :)  Just click here and again on the pretty lady!

Finally, some super cute pics of some super cute kids!

Yup, that is drool.

She loves to read!

I got up here...but now I can't get down.  Help mom!

Sibling love :)

All for the perfect dress

Most women dream about that perfect wedding dress from the moment they know what a wedding is and how dressed up a woman gets to be on her wedding day.  Now, I was not really one of those women, I began dreaming of my wedding dress when I thought I may actually get married (this was sometime during my 20's).  Anway, just as much as those lifetime dreamers, I wanted to find, purchase and wear the perfect wedding dress. 

So, when the time came for me to get a wedding dress, I felt absolutely overwhelmed.  It did not help that when I would tell wedding consultants my date that they would immediately fly into the "you should already have a dress" speech.  It also did not help that I allowed my husband to browse dresses with me.  Every dress that I absolutely fell in love with Anwar would look at with an unpleasant expression.  Finally, it did not help that I was afraid to shop for a dress where I really wanted because I knew the price tag would be much greater than where I did shop -- David's Bridal. 

Now don't get me wrong, David's Bridal did right by me and I am sure many other brides.  I was given a variety of dresses, I was given a fairly good bra, I had the most amazing seamstress EVER and it was all done for a steal.  I think I looked good in my dress -- everyone I talk to says I looked good in my dress (although I doubt anyone would say otherwise; can you imagine? LOL!).

So what's the problem, Anne?  You got a great deal, found a great dress and felt like you looked great on your big day...what gives?  Well.  The problem is I still do not believe that I found the dress. 

There is a bridal shoppe on a route that I frequently drive in St. Paul.  In the window display is a dress that I almost tear up glancing at as I drive by.  It is gorgeous.  It as a flowers on the bust, a pick up skirt and it is just to die for.  I am almost to the point of taking of the wedding band, heading in, telling them some phoney wedding date just so I can try this dress on.  Maybe tomorrow I will...

When I see a dress like this dream dress in the shoppe window, I get a little sad that I didn't look "harder" for the dress.  I went with the dress that looked good, was easy to find, I knew my husband would like and was easy on my poor mom's wallet.  I know now that I should have chosen a dress with a pick up skirt, detailed bust, and structured waist...wanna know how?  Because I swoon over these dresses every single time I see one.  I get a little giddy inside and do a little dance.  I then immediately get sad that dress will never be mine.  I already had my day.  I already had my dress. 
Maybe there is hope.  Maybe I should start talking the husband into a ten year vow renewal.  Do you all think the pretty dress in the shoppe window will still be there?  **sigh** 

Now if you haven't entered my Little Buddy Tracker Giveaway, well, you should.  It is an expensive item people!  Also, some votes will help :)

EDIT!!

A suggestion for pics...here you are :)

My dress:

My swoon dress:

Insignia Little Buddy Tracker Review/Giveaway! (closed)

Like many parents, I watch my kids like a hawk because I am afraid that they will get lost or taken. Quite honestly, in the nearly eight years that Noelle has been alive I have rarely let her out of my sight. I know letting go is part of growing up, but a little assistance never hurts. So when I was asked to take a look at the Insignia Little Buddy Tracker, a GPS tracker, I quickly said yes.

Let me say from the get go that a GPS tracker is NO substitute for watching your child, a fact that is also confirmed by Insignia. However, after using the tracker I must say in comes in quite handy.

The tracker itself is a small green bar that is no bigger than my iPhone. It is easily programmed via the Best Buy website and has many cool features. You can name the tracker after a child (so you can have more than one and keep them straight), you can set the tracker to ensure your child is at a predetermined location during a certain time, you can quickly check to see where your child is at any given time and much more. I was actually impressed with the options!

So, enough of the small stuff...does this thing work?? You bet it does. I gave the Little Buddy Tracker a test run while just sitting in my apartment. I turned the tracker on, logged into my Little Buddy page and hit "locate". The tracker nailed my location...with the bird's eye view option I was looking at my back deck.

To really test out the tracker I decided to take the Family to the Mall of America...a place that would take you days to visit each and every store it is so big. We got to the mall, Noelle put the tracker in her purse and we split up...me with Nik and Anwar with Noelle. With the help of my phone's internet browser, twice the tracker pegged Noelle's location and even showed me a rough map of the mall. It was pretty cool. I mean, even if nobody was lost - I could have found my husband and daughter if the hubby wasn't answering his phone and we needed to meet up. I like it!

Now the makers of the Little Buddy Tracker have been kind enough to offer to give away a Little Buddy Tracker to one of my readers! Please note there is a nominal monthly fee for use of the tracker OR a pay as you go option (no fee, just pay if you actually use it) BUT you get the first 30 days for free!

Wanna win? Here is how:

Mandatory Entry (if you don't do this, your other entries are void):
Go to the Little Buddy product info page and tell me what feature of the Little Buddy you like best!

Optional Entries:

• Follow my blog or tell me you already do! (Leave a comment)
• Vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs by clicking here. (Leave a comment - can do 1x per day)
• Tweet the Following:

Enter to win a #LittleBuddyTracker sold only @BestBuy by visiting @AJDplusThree at: http://tinyurl.com/2frgmc2

         (leave a comment - can do 1x per day)

You MUST leave your email in at least one of your entries or email me your contact info. I will re-draw if this is not done. Be sure to leave separate comments for your entries as well. I will pick a winner on Friday at noon meaning you have until Friday April 30, 2009 at 11:59 CST to enter.

Good luck, this is a good one!

McFatty Monday Update!!

So, as I promised in this morning's post (I link because I know I would be too lazy to look it up if I was reading this) I have an update for you on my 5K training.

After Nik's morning nap he seemed to be in a good enough mood, so we gathered up our stuff and headed to the lake. I let him play on the grass for a bit before putting him into the stroller. He went in without complaint and off we went. I was nervous, but reminded myself the only thing standing in the way of my 5K was me. Guess what....I FINISHED! I did all of this week's required running and even though I wanted to stop a million times I did not :)

I am so happy I have McFatty Monday. Without it, I would sit on my couch all day long and dream about doing a 5K, but now, I think I can actually do it!

Oh yes, please do me a solid and vote for me. My lack of active solicitation has hurt my standings... a lot.

Okay, confession time

I suck. No, really, I do. Remember last week when I posted about my bad day and how stupid I felt about not being able to run for 5 minutes? Well, I let that get to me in a really negative way. Although I tried very hard to tell myself it was no big deal and to get back out there...I let myself dwindle into failure. I used life as an excuse to NOT run. Nikolai is too sick to be outside in the stroller (not true); it is too windy today (so dumb); I haven't washed my sports bras (even more dumb since I stink afterwards anyway).

By Friday I told myself (yes, I talk to myself a lot...maybe a bigger issue, lol!) enough is enough and I got myself together and headed out to run. Well, Mr. Nikolai cried and cried. I could not get him to stop. So I got back into the car and drove back home...feeling like a total failure. As you can imagine, I used that as my excuse to not run over the weekend.

This is so stupid. I am stopping myself from succeeding. Who cares if at the moment I can't run for very long? Who cares if at the actual 5K I have to walk for a bit? Nobody. That's right, nobody. I need to include myself in that nobody and get over my issues with running.

I WILL get out there today (watch for a post about it later today) and take care of business. Today I will use my friend who finished a 5K just yesterday and did a great job. Shout out to Alicia - you rock girl!

_______________________________________________________

On a different note...this weekend a friend lost her sweet little boy. Although he was only here a short time, I am so happy his parents got to meet him and cherish him. I'd like to thank a friend of mine who sent me this poem that helped me feel better yesterday...I hope it does the same for you.

Goodnight, little star, goodnight

Perchance we meet again another night

Perhaps when moon and sun unite

Married in beams of eternal light

Goodnight little star, sleep now

Bow your sparkling head to dream

Bend your little flame to angels breath

Curl, twinkling, in Deity's hand

Goodnight little star, but not farewell

For mine eyes will behold thee again

And between us but the span of arms

And firelight and starlight and Sun

Live forever, as One.

Rest in peace, sweet Eli.

Sunday Funnies: Bad, bad slogan

Not sure if you have heard, but White Castle's newest radio slogan is...

"Grab a Sack. You'll be back."

Um, yeah.

He is getting close!

I am so not even ready for this...

Cancer sucks. It really sucks.

I have avoided writing about this for quite some time, as it still really hurts and bothers me to think about.  But, with the passing of my friend's mother today - on my friend's birthday no less - due to cancer, I knew I needed to get it all out. 

Anwar and I knew we would eventually get married.  I mean, we had been dating for years, we were living together, we shared money and expenses and the things we owned as individuals were slowly leaving the house in favor of things we owned together.  Let's just say there were no plans to actually get married anytime in the near future (his choice, not mine). 

Well, in March 2008 we discovered my grandpa had esophaeal cancer which required risky and radical surgery.  I cried for days because, most of all, I did not want my grandpa to be in pain, but also because I was afraid he would die and I could not imagine him not being able to see me get married. 

As we were laying in bed one morning, Anwar looked at me and said: "what would you think about getting married this year?"  I looked at him in shock because he had never ever voiced a desire to get married so fast.  After ensuring HE wanted to get married, I happily accepted and we began discussing the details. 

We decided we needed to get married in Southern California, as my grandpa would not likely be able to travel.  We needed a venue where I didn't need to worry about the details, as I was schedule to take the bar exam in late July.  We also needed a location that people could make it to and have options regarding hotel and flight.  Knowing I had looked (stalked) it before, Anwar suggested Disneyland.  It so happened my sister and her family already had a trip planned for August 2008 to Disneyland, so we set our date around that and off we went. 

My grandpa's surgery was successful, but the recovery was long, painful and frustrating to say the least.  My grandpa could not really eat, was hooked up to a feeding tube and was just miserable.  My grandpa was a man of great faith, but I recall him saying to my mom: "I'm no Job." 

Throughout his recovery, although difficult, planning the wedding seemed to distract people and give them something happy to think about, this was especially so for my grandma, who took care of my grandpa 24/7.  In addition, there was never a doubt that my grandpa would make it to the wedding, as it gave him plenty of time to recover.  We all thought he was going to be okay. 

As the bar exam approached I basically locked myself in my house (or the local starbucks) and buried myself in my study materials.  I knew little about what was happening with the outside world.  This included knowledge about my grandpa's deterioration. 

I discovered only days before I was to leave for California that my grandpa had been re-hospitalized and the doctors had found more cancer...this time in his lungs. He was given weeks to live, maybe a month or two if he did chemo.  He decided against further treatment and would be unable to come to my wedding.  Naturally I was at work when I found out.  I just put my head down on my desk and cried...those who know me know that crying in public is not something I do. 

I wanted to cancel the wedding.  How in the world could I be happy at a time like this?  In all honesty, the only reason I did not cancel the wedding was because my friends and family had spent so much money getting there and helping out that I felt much too guilty to call it off.  Had it been a local wedding I likely would have cancelled. 

But, I got on a plane, made it to Anaheim, got to our hotel and made plans to drive to San Diego the next morning to pick up my mom and visit my grandpa.  Before I made it to San Diego I discovered my grandpa had been admitted to hospice.  He could barely speak he was so weak - and at one point we could not get him to wake up.  My grandma, so afraid he would pass away any minute, decided not to go to the wedding as well.  I think anyone in her position would make the same decision. 

The day of my wedding I did all of the "bride" stuff, I smiled and laughed, it was beautiful and wonderful.  My wonderful dad snapped a picture of me and Noelle in the cinderella carriage and (although they haven't spoken since my parents' divorce years ago) texted the picture to my grandma...I later found out my grandpa was able to see that picture.  After the wedding we went on our "honeymoon" which I am forever grateful that my husband without complaint cut (very) short so I could go back to San Diego to see my grandpa. 

I very hesitantly got on a plane and came back to Minnesota.  My grandpa passed away the day I got back. 

I try to look at the bright side.  There were many, many people, including my family, who were in California for the wedding and got to see my grandpa before he passed who otherwise would not have been there.  My grandpa got to see Noelle and tell her, as he always did, "You're beautiful."  My wedding was beautiful and gave people something happy to think about during the six months of fear, frustration and sadness that cancer brings.  My mom was able to be with my grandma the whole time...something I am very grateful for.  Even after all of these good things...I am still sad all of the time that my grandparents missed my wedding.  I miss my grandpa every day. 

So, cancer sucks.  Anyone who has had cancer impact their life or the life of a loved one will agree.  My love and condolences go out to my friend and her family for their recent loss. 

Thank you for letting me get this all out.

I have found my ultimate fear.

Yup, I know know what I am afraid of the most.  It isn't the dark, the boogie man, things crawling under my bed or even ::shudders:: spiders.  What I am afraid of will never go away and cannot be remedied by a nightlight, closet and under the bed checks or bug repellant. 

I am afraid of getting old.  Not just me, I don't like anyone around me getting old either.  I don't know why, but it is only in the past few years that I have noticed my family getting older.  My dad's hair is now grey, almost all of my siblings have children, my mom is getting paranoid about retirement, my grandpa passed away.  I guess I finally realized my family is mortal.

What brought this post to light is a recent trip to the store I took with my dad.  I was helping him shop for an upcoming choir event (my dad is a choir teacher) and so we went to the local Sam's Club.  I am unsure what brought it up, but my dad said to me: "In four years I'll be 61 anyway."  My jaw dropped to the ground and I got sick to my stomach.  I then cringed and said back: "Oh, don't say that!" because I didn't even want to IMAGINE my dad being in his sixties. 

I've always had a young family - always. See, we even captured five generations in this picture!  I was fortunate enough to know all of my grandparents and even a few great grandparents - I actually lost my great grandma only four years ago and my daughter has her middle name, Rose.  My grandparents on my mom's side were also young, for grandparents that is, and always took us on fun adventures to Disneyland, the beach, Sea World, and the zoo.  I always heard of others saying their grandparents had passed away...but I just thought mine would live forever.  I was wrong; I lost my grandpa in 2008 to cancer.

I also recently looked at Noelle and wondered how in the world nearly eight years had passed since she was born.  She isn't a baby or a toddler anymore.  She barely even looks like a little girl.  The baby I once carried at my side at all times now doesn't even try to hold my hand while walking through the mall.  I now realize Nikolai is subject to the same fate - I will blink and he will be off to college. 

Ultimately, I guess I just like the way my family is and how we all interact toghether.  I am deathly afraid of us all getting older and possibly being subject to dementia of sorts and forgetting who the others are...like my grandma.  I am also afraid of people getting old and passing away, because I just cannot imagine it. 

But, like I said before, this is not a fear that I can remedy with some store bought solution (unless you consider a shrink store bought - haha).  I can only accept that time passes and people move on and change.  I must also look at the bright side...it is exciting to watch the kids grow and to see who they will become, it is exciting to watch my family's life achievments as well. 

So, while I cannot freeze time...I can enjoy the ride.

Paper to Pearls Review & Discount Code

When I first received an email about doing a review of jewelry from Paper to Pearls my first thought was "paper?! How in the world can paper jewelry look cool?" Well, my curiosity got the best of me and I wandered onto the Paper to Pearls website.

What I discovered upon my visit is that Paper to Pearls is a wonderful organization that supports women in refugee camps in Uganda by using the amazing talents of the refugees to create jewelry. Here is a little more about this great not for profit organization...


Paper to Pearls was the unexpected outcome of a trip that Voices for Global Change president Barbara Moller made to northern Uganda in the fall of 2005. Barbara went as one of a team of trainers on a U.S. State Department project to create a coalition of local municipal officials and civil society leaders that would lobby and advocate nationally and internationally on behalf of the region.
Joyce Laker, one of the participants in the training, invited Barbara to visit two displaced persons camps where she had started a small beading project. Utilizing a grant she had obtained from CARE International, Joyce had recently brought a trainer from Kampala, the Ugandan capital, to train women in the two camps in how to make necklaces from recycled paper. She thought that sales of necklaces on the streets of Gulu, the local town, would be a way to help the women. The money wouldn't be much, but it would be something.
Barbara, however, saw it differently. What she saw was an opportunity to provide significant income for the women if she could create a market for their work. Two months later Paper to Pearls was born. Although starting with no experience in micro-enterprise or retail sales, Barbara saw the initiative as a natural extension of the mission of Voices for Global Change―to help give a "voice" to those who have traditionally been silent. In this case, by helping lift desperately marginalized women out of poverty, it would be giving them a voice in their future and the future of their families and communities.

As you can see, Paper to Pearls is an amazing company...and the jewelry you ask? Well, I honestly cannot believe it is made of paper - it is gorgeous. I was lucky enough to receive this sample and everything down to the clasp are in perfect order. The coloring on the beads is superb and I personally love it. This isn't it either! Paper to Pearls carries bracelets, necklaces and earring in a variety of colors!

gorgeous, right!

I encourage you to visit Paper to Pearls to learn more about the initiative and shop for jewelry of your own. In fact, for the next ten days you can receive a 25% discount on any orders by using the discount code "Deal". Furthermore, anyone who makes a purchase using the code will be entered into a raffle to win a FREE necklace.

Thank for reading about this great cause and great product!

Just some rationalization and pessimism

I spent my entire day telling myself that everything was okay -- even though on the inside I did not feel like anything would ever be okay.

First was my 5K training.  It is so stupid that running for a few minutes is so damn hard.  I mean, what adult cannot run for more than 5 minutes at a time?  This one!  For the first time since I started training I actually stopped while my little iPhone app screen said I should still be running.  I just could not do it.  I told myself: "it's okay, there is nothing wrong with needing to repeat this week if you are having trouble."  I even repeated this story to my husband later on.  While I was saying this out loud, on the inside I just felt like a giant failure. 

What made it even worse was that poor Nikolai decided to throw a fit when I had about 5 minutes left.  I could not get him settled, so I carried him the remainder of the way around the lake. 

I got home to an email from an HR person who I'd been referred to by a friend.  I had been waiting for a return email for over a week and was expecting to see a job posting so I could send in my resume.  Unfortunately, the job I'd been referred for had already closed and so the best I can do is send my resume into the general pile.  I told myself: "it's okay, this job did not work out, but maybe if you send in your resume a better job will come along."  Again, I said this out loud and even tried to repeat it in my head...but I know as well as everyone else that the general pile does not get touched.

I came home after picking Noelle up from school and quickly tried to clean the kitchen and make snacks while Nikolai was busy in his highchair.  I got all the dishes done and managed to get everything put away.  All I had left to do was make a stupid homemade pizza for dinner.  That is it.  Naturally, I burned the damn thing beyond recognition.  I then had to make an oh so common phone call to my husband telling him the dinner we already spent money on is ruined, so please go spend more money on something else for us to eat.  I told myself: "it's okay.  This week is payday so we can afford to spend a little here and there."  When really I knew we should not be shelling out extra dough at all.

Finally, when Anwar came home, all that was left of the day were my sore legs, a re-dirtied kitchen, a crying and tired baby (whose poor ezcema is acting up and I of course can't find his ointment), and a wife who had all day tried to put on a happy face but inside was not so happy. 

I know all closed doors are supposed to lead to another open one, but I feel like I am in a Scooby Doo episode where every door in the hallway inevitably leads back to the same, never-ending, hallway.  Certainly something will have to give at some point...I am just not sure what exactly it is that will give.

Sorry for the whine (and not the good kind).  Tomorrow will be happier I promise...I am reviewing a beautiful piece of jewelery.

Bras...they should be worn.

Those who have had any contact with me, whether it be in real life, on The Bump or otherwise know that I have been what some call "well endowed" or "blessed".  I do not, however, consider my large chestedness to be a blessing in any sense of the word.  It quite honestly is a handicap that prevents me from finding clothes that fit, from working out without a hassle, from having people notice my face and from being comfortable (my back hurts...lots).  Heck, I can't even walk into a store and buy a bra.  I have to research which places carry my size and then see whether I can afford the premium price tag that has been attached to my size.  Seriously, to find a decent bra in my size is never less than $60 dollars.  I hate my boobs and they will promptly be cut down to size as soon as some funds are available.

What does this have to do with McFatty Monday you may ask? Well, knowing of my largeness, I always make sure that the ladies are locked down when I go jogging.  I wear no less than three sports bras - that's right, three - to avoid the bounce and also wear clothes that will disguise what I have going on.  A little overkill? Maybe.  But if you have ever felt the stare of some rando person as you walk down the street focused directly on your chest, you try to avoid that at any cost. 

So, my feelings are, unless you are Kate Moss or Kate Hudson (or similarily flat chested) you should probably wear a sports bra to work out.  Right?  Well, apparently there are some people that did not get the memo because I was at the lake this weekend where I saw a few pretty averaged size ladies who looked as though they were not wearing a bra at all - yup, that is how bad the bounce was.  I mean, hey, to each their own.  If you want that kind of attention or some stretch marks go for it.  Me?  I will be adding bra after bra to keep things under control.

Now that my bra rant is over...I will say my 5K stuff is going well.  My regimen required that I increase my running time again - and I was super scared to do it.  To help with my fear I asked my hubby to go along and I am so glad I did!  When it got tough I tried to follow him.  I also employed a tip from a friend who told me to run at a tree like I was mad...well, I did not run any faster, but I kept going.  I did have to take a couple walking breaks during my last running time, but I know that is okay.  My goal next time is to not stop and if I need to repeat this part of the regimen then so be it. 

I am getting closer to 5K day and am getting crazy scared!  Just keep going, right?

Not that you don't hear it enough already...but please clicky to vote for me!  I am not doing so hot right now.

Sunday Funnies: Mr. Nikolai is 8 MONTHS OLD!

In honor of Nikolai's 8 monthday, we will post some funny pictures of him for the Sunday Funny :)

As you can see, I have mastered this whole pulling up to stand thing...

I also can make some pretty funny faces and look at the camera like "what!"

This is the happiest I have ever looked in my crib...and the most thrilled I have ever looked while playing.

My name is Nikolai and I am 8 Months Old!

If you think I am cute, vote for my mommy by clicking below!

I have blog award bling!

Two of my blogger buddies were so nice to give me a couple blogging awards!  I am so appreciative.  Here is what I recieved:

I got this lovely award from Kim at Who Needs Sleep!  Thanks, Kim.

The Kreativ Blogger Award Rules:

1. Post the award.

2. Thank and mention the person who gave you the award.

3. Pass the award on to seven blogs who you think embody the spirit of the Kreativ Blogger Award.
4. Name seven things about yourself that others don't know.
5. Don't forget to notify your seven bloggers about their award and post a link to their blog.

I already did numbers 1 and 2, so here goes the rest...

3. This award so deservingly goes to:

365 Days: 30 + Mommyhood

Postcards from Parenthood

Last Splash

Look At The Birds

Larry's Ass

Tie a Little Ribbon

Addicted to Addison

4. Seven things you may not know about me...

• I have been to Disneyland more times than I am years old
• I would eat cereal every meal of the day (and snacks) if I could
• I really hate intentional spelling and grammar errors
• I lived in Utah for 13 years
• I could buy hundreds of hot lookings heels, but would wear my flip flops every day anyway
• I am a really nice person, but you don't ever want to get on my bad side!
• I love blogging - a lot

Can't wait to tell the other mommy bloggers about their awards!

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I was also awarded the Honest Scrap Award from Eliza at Postcards from Parenthood.  Love her!

Now I must share 10 things about myself...but since I already shared 7, let's just do three more :)

• 
  
  I have an obsession with Starbucks that is unhealthy for both my wallet and my waistline
• 
  
  I've had plastic surgery...I will make you guess on what ;)
• 
  
  I am forever grateful for my e-friends - they have gotten me through some pretty tough times

Now for more blogger nominees for the Honest Scrap Award (really, I won't do that many...phew, this is lots of work).

Avery and Me

A Mama Stork Knows

Changing the Universe

Hormonal Imbalances

That is all I've got in me folks!  Thanks again for my awards :)

Winner, winner!

Today random.org picked lucky number....

That would be....

I have sent you an email. You have 48 hours to respond and claim your new camera!  If you fail to respond I will be forced to pick a new winner.

_______________________________________

 I you did not win this one don't fret - I have some great reviews/giveaways coming up :)

We are all getting a little rest around here...

Sleep training is by no means easy, but it works.  If you recall, I posted about Nikolai's sleep regression, more specifically that Nikolai had gone from sleeping through the night to getting up every two hours.  I am sure all the new mommies know how exhausting that can be and how emotionally draining lack of sleep becomes.  I was hesistant about doing the Ferber method for a second time because Nikolai shared a common wall with the neighbor (and our walls are paper thin) and Nikolai shared a room with Noelle - so every time he cried the poor girl would wake up too.  So I just carried on and continued with my exhaustion so not to disturb anyone else.

Then two things happened.  First, Anwar had become so tired that his work was becoming impacted - as he is our only working income we cannot afford for him to lose his job.  Second, and to me more frightening, I was driving the kids home after picking Noelle up from school and I nearly caused an accident because I was so tired I missed a stop sign.  A stupid stop sign that I stop at five days a week...I just didn't see it.  So, we decided something had to happen.

Last week we moved Nikolai's crib into our bedroom, which shares no common walls with the neighbors.  We also restarted the Ferber method to get him to relearn to sleep without the aid of a bottle, pacifier or rocking.  Today is day seven and we are so happy we did the work to get Nikolai to sleep again.  He wakes only once during the night and falls back asleep quickly.  We hope this only improves as he gets older.

Now, I know some of you do not at all approve of any form of crying as a sleep training method.  To you, I say do what works and feels comfortable for you.  Cry it out is certainly not for everyone and it is not at all easy to do.  If I lose readers because they disagree that strongly, well, I am sorry for that but think it is more important that I taught my son to sleep rather than let lack of sleep run all of our lives. 

I know another blogging momma, Diana, at Hormonal Imbalances is dealing with sleep training right now as well.  I hope she sees improvement and can get some rest too. 

I know for sure that you do not know the impact of exhaustion until you have lived it.  I know I did not know, at all. 

Thanks for reading about my little sleep problems!  Hope everyone has some fun weekend plans and has time to enter my Leapfrog Digital Camera Giveaway - it ends tonight!

Glee is the best show...ever.

I was finally able to watch Glee this morning (hey, TBL was on and I was too lazy to flip back and forth) and was so excited I could barely contain myself. 
First, if you haven't seen it - get your little internet behind to Hulu.com and watch it. You will not be sorry, I swear.  Second, if you still haven't seen it, there are some spoilers (sort of) here.  Third, it is hilarious!  "Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?"  Who the hell comes up with that?  I nearly died laughing (quietly though, because Nik was napping).  And Sue Sylvester has to be one of the best characters of all time.  I mean, the chick (if she can be called that) wears a full track suit in bed, lol! 

Finally, and most importantly, the music scenes remind me of high school.  Yes, indeed, I was a gleek in high school.  However, my show choir was called "Rhythm in Gold", we did not sing any Journey songs and we wore sequined dresses with heels.  We sang a variety of tunes and were in many competitions over the years.  I have to say I made many friends that I still talk to after over ten years out of high school.  Really, there is nothing like riding on a bus for hours on end to compete in a national show choir competition in Branson, MO to bond people together for life, LOL! 

Want to see a picture?  Well, you are in for a treat (a laugh really).  Sorry for the horrible quality, my scanner quit on me...

Can you find me???

Well, as you can see there were a TON of us (we filled the entire stage - tons of us).  We had our own band - and I must say they were amazing and put up with a lot of stupid singer crap.  We sang songs like Last Dance, Freedom, and Knock on Wood (which we pronounced kah-knock-ah because it sounded better from afar).  I also sang with two other girls and we had so much fun!  We sang Somebody to Love, Hold on and It's Raining Men.  I miss sitting at the piano and practicing with them sometimes.  Just going from a rambling mess to a perfectly harmonized piece was so satisfying!  Ah, the good old days :)

Anyway, I don't miss wearing the sequined dresses, or attempting to make my fine limp hair into a curly/body-filled masterpiece, but I do miss hanging out with my RIG peeps.  I am sure we are all into our own - and very different - lives.  Some of them I see on FB, others I have not seen since graduation.  Regardless, I will have fond memories come to the surface every time I watch Glee...although, not immediately, I will have to laugh at jokes regarding bad haircuts and gay sharks first! 


Now that you have read all about my gleekness, hurry up and go enter my Leapfrog Camera Giveaway.  Also a little clicking on the pretty lady below would be nice ;)

Can I really run for that long?

After a week of having Noelle at home and another week of being horribly sick, I ended my hiatus from the 5K training.  I knew heading out that it would be difficult because of the time away and because I was still hacking up my left lung (which reminds me, if you find my lung on the running trail, please send it to me).  I started out strong and felt pretty good.  Then I hit my first three minutes of running.  I felt so out of breath -- mostly because my chest hurt from all the cold crap still in there -- but it was tough.  By the time I hit my last three minutes I didn't even really know how my feet were still coming up off of the ground. 

I really wanted to give up.  But seriously?  If I give up based on three stupid minutes, then how the hell am I supposed to run an entire 5K?  So I thought about how I felt at Express the other day.  I thought about trying on capri pants at Old Navy and looking ridiculously fat.  I thought about how I can do anything for three stinking minutes. 

I don't ever want to feel like I felt last weekend.  I don't ever want to worry when I walk into the dressing room that if the pants I have don't fit, that there is no bigger size.  So I am going to keep running and hope it results in a sexy hot me :)

I am sure getting over my cold will help too - lol!

Okay, enough 5K talk.  Don't forget to enter my Leapfrog Digital Camera Giveaway!  Vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs too if you would be so kind ;)

Canvaspress Giveaway!

Hey all!

My friend over at Look at the Birds is having a great giveaway for a 1.5 Gallery Wrapped Canvas from Canvaspress!!

Now I would like to win...but I guess I will share that you can enter to win by going here.

Good luck (to me)!

Leapfrog Camera (by Sakar) Review & Giveaway! - CLOSED

I had the opportunity to review a great digital camera for kids -- the Leapfrog Click n' Create Digital Camera by Sakar!  The camera is compact enough to go anywhere, yet shaped well for little hands to grasp.  The camera is also made out of rubber, so the inevitable fall to the ground will not likely be the end of the Leapfrog Camera. 

But how are the pictures, you ask!  Well, to test this out I decided we should have pictures taken by the camera's intended recipient, a kid.  So I grabbed Noelle and went to the lake for some great outdoor shots.  She was very excited to use the camera and got a kick out of the sound effects (it would click when a picture was taken and proclaim "great shot!").  After taking the pictures I asked what she thought and she said it was fun and she loved taking pictures. 

Would you like to see the pics?  Well, here they are!

She got a nice shot of me and Nikolai

Some cute ducks swimming in the lake.

A picture of the beautiful como pavilion!

More ducks and a goose!

Fun stuff, right!  Well, we came home, installed the software and after plugging in the camera the pictures came right up!  It was very easy and could certainly be done (with a little mom and dad help) by a child. 

If I had to pic a con for the camera it would be that the sound effects get annoying after a while.  Naturally, the kids love them, but mom and dad wish there were some earplugs handy.  But, so long as the kids are entertained I think it is worth it!

Do you like what you see?  Would you like to have your very own Leapfrog Digital Camera?  Well you can.  I am giving away one right here :)  Even if your little one is too young for the camera, it would make an excellent gift!

Here are the deets...

Please be sure to leave a seperate comment for each entry and leave your email address in at least one entry or your entry will be void. 

Mandatory entry: Follow my blog, or let me know you already do (leave a comment).

Optional entries:

1) Vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs by clicking here. (leave a comment). Please note you can get additional entries by voting for me each day of the giveaway - be sure to leave another comment when you do so!

2) Tweet the following:

Enter to win a Leapfrog Digital Camera from @ajdplusthree by going to: http://tinyurl.com/ydmylto #giveaways

(leave a comment) You can also get additional entries by tweeting each day!

Good luck!  You have until 11:59 p.m. on Friday, April 16th to enter and I will pick a winner on Saturday, March 17th!

Have fun :)

The mall is not my friend

Back in the day (really, it was only about 6 years ago...but it seems like a lifetime) I used to shop at Express all of the time.  I could walk in, try on anything I wanted, it always looked great and I fit right in.  I could easily say Express was my favorite place to shop because I could find casual and dressy looks all in one place and - although expensive - the clothes lasted a long time and were well suited for my body type. 

<------------- See, I looked great :)




Well, fast forward those six years and you must add up the stress of being a single mom, the stress of going to law school, the "comfort" of being in a relationship and being married and a second child.  Yes my friends, all those "adds" are equivelent to added weight.  I gained 50 pounds over the course of those six years (even though it seems like it happened overnight).  I just do not look like I did six years ago. 

So, this past weekend I went to Express with my husband who was desperately searching for some jeans (you should see the old jeans -- not good) and was fortunate enough to have a gift card.  As my hubby looked for pants, I wheeled Nikolai around in the stroller and window shopped myself.  The more I walked around the more uncomfortable I felt.  I was surrounded by much younger, much thinner people and it was obvious I did not belong in that store because I knew I would not fit into a single thing there.  Seriously, somebody should have started singing "One of these things is not like the other!"  I felt as though the store associates were staring me down and thinking "why is she here?  she would never fit into anything we have in the store!"  The longer I stayed there the worse I felt about being there - and about myself.  In all honesty I wanted to burst into tears and run away, but I didn't want to alarm Anwar.  How could I go from loving that place so much to feeling like running out of the store crying?

I just want "me" back.  The me that I had six years ago.  The me that could walk into a store and know that the store would carry my size.  To know that what I tried on would look good on me.  Unfortunately what I have now is a body that I am in denial about every single day.  I have a me that I don't recognize.  I have a me that when I try on clothes I just get upset. 

I know it should be as easy as just diet and exercise, but for me it really isn't that easy.  I am doing well with the working out part, but that does not seem to do much if I don't add in the good eating part.  That works okay until the days where I have a screaming infant on my hands all night and all day -- then eating does not go so well.  I just cannot seem to do it.  I don't know why.  What I do know is I have been trying to lose weight since January...and have lost 6 pounds, then gained back three.  Is what I am doing even worth it?

On a more positive note, I am back in action on my 5K training.  For those that missed it, I have discovered that I will be out of town on my originally planned 5K date - so I found another 5K to run on June 6th and am ready to go! I guess even if I can't lose weight I can at least say that I ran a 5K.

Okay, I super promise that I won't whine next McFatty Monday.  Also, come back tomorrow because I have a very cool giveaway to do :)

Sunday Funnies: Shock and Awe!

Sunday funnies time!  Remember, if you have a suggestion for a Sunday Funny, please email me.  You can find my contact info in the "Contact Me" tab above. 

Today, you get to see a cat that is in shock and awe...of what, we are not sure, but it is hilarious nonetheless!

If that made you giggle - even a little bit - then you should vote for me ;)

There are some perks to being unemployed...

Summer appears to be rapidly approaching in the great (sort of) state of Minnesota.  The sun is shining, the temperature is climbing and people are headed outdoors after a long and miserable winter.  Summer is one of my favorite times of year because of the family BBQs, trips to the pool to soak up the sun with Noelle, walks to the park, visits to the zoo and overall lazy weekends in the warmth.  As you can see, even my cat is enjoying the warm sun!

Well, along with summer looms my uncertain employment situation.  As of right now it appears that nobody wants me any longer (hey, what would you think of a resume with a 9 month gap in it).  So, the plan right now is for me to stay home with the kids all summer long.  While in the winter I would totally cringe at the thought of having to entertain two kids all day long, the summer makes it okay!  Here are some things that not having a job will permit me to enjoy:

1) I get to wear flip flops every single day.  No high heels, no dressy flats, no wedges - flip flops!  Every.single.day.

2) I can get a summer pool pass and use that every day too!  Normally, I would only head to the pool on the weekend...but without a job I can go all the time and work on getting rid of my sickly white skin :)

3) The kids won't get cooped up in the house because of the weather.  I do not have to listen to Noelle whine about not having anything to do - in the summer we have TONS to do.

4) We can sit outside at Starbucks, enjoy the sun, and drink coffee :)

So basically, it is the weekend every day!

I know, I know...there are tons of disadvantages to being unemployed, but I am trying to do the whole glass half full thing ;)

Hope you all have a great weekend...I promise it will be better if you vote for me :)

The Name Game!

I have been asked, on many occasions, exactly how I was able to come up with names for the two kiddos. The short answer, I wrote a name down at the hospital. Since the short answer is absolutely no fun, here is the long answer...

Noelle was not supposed to be Noelle. Her name was supposed to be Dominica or Tyree. Don't ask, I have absolutely NO idea what either of the latter two names mean. I really just liked how Dominica and Tyree sounded -- I think they are super pretty. Mind you that, at the time, I was only 21 years old and made no effort to think of repercussions like people making fun of her name...yup, I was young and dumb. Anyway, I figured after Miss Noelle was born that I would just pick one of the two names, jot it down and be set to go! That isn't exactly how it worked.

After I had Noelle I knew one thing for certain, she DID NOT look like a Tyree nor a Dominica. So, I had someone (likely my sister) bring me the baby name book and I started all over. One of the fortunate things about being a single mom is that I did not have to consult with anyone else about my choices, but I did have to choose. I scoured the book over and over and just could not find a name that I thought was well suited for Noelle...just nothing. It was the day of my discharge and I still did not have a name written into that little blank.

For whatever reason, I thought of my friend Noelle (that's right, not my daughter, my friend). I think Noelle is a beautiful name and when I said it and looked at my precious new child, I knew that was it. As I was leaving, I wrote in "Noelle" and never looked back. Looking at her today, it is still just as fitting.

On to Mr. Nikolai. Once again, that was not supposed to be his name. My name choices were somewhat challenged this time around - as the hubby had a say in what name adorned our son. I think we literally went over every name in several different baby books. We (finally) settled on the name Xavier (to be pronounced EX- avier) and were both equally excited about it.

Just as it happened with Noelle, however, Nikolai was born and this time it was Anwar who thought the name Xavier no longer suited him. I actually still wanted to name him Xavier, but recalling how I felt with Noelle wanted to give Anwar the chance to name him something different.

Oddly enough we had recently seen Angels and Demons and during the credits Anwar saw the name "Nikolai" and really liked it. Well, after much thought Anwar decided to at least look up the meaning of the name. While Xavier means something like "new house", Nikolai meant "victory". That sold it for Anwar. He wanted his son to be victorious and knew that having kids was also a life victory.

Yeah...it was not so easy for me. I really still liked the name Xavier and kept trying to get that back in the game. It wasn't until a visit from a family friend - the first actually to hear our new choice (we didn't want a million and six name opinions) - that I became convinced Nikolai was the right name. This friend heard the choices and looked at me and said: "You should choose Nikolai, because then it would be Nik and Noelle." That made my heart jump for some cheesy reason - and I agreed to name my new son Nikolai. And again, I jotted his name down in the blank space as we were being discharged.

I am very happy with my kids' names. The names suit them well and go so well together. Picking a name is a difficult task - much more difficult than some think. Did you have a tough go with the names? Did you start out with a name and stick with it?

Who knows, maybe I am the only crazy who leaves the hospital forms blank until the end!

Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane!

OMG!  I cannot explain or describe how much I love my mom right now.  She has been insistant for quite some time that I am in need of a break - like no kids no worries kind of break.  I always laughed a little because with no job and no money that "break" seemed impossible.  Well, she came through (like a good mom would).  In less than one month I am headed to sunny California!

Here is the plan, my mom and sister will be at Disneyland for a leadership training conference (that sounds pretty cool itself) and I will join them after their conference is over and then we will spend a day at my favorite obsession -- DISNEYLAND! Hooray! No kids, no whining, no strollers, no bottles, just the ladies and Mickey Mouse :)  (Although, I will really miss seeing the excitement in Noelle's eyes and how much fun she has).  We will then drive down to San Diego to spend a few days with my grandma!  My awesome mom is paying for me to do this because she knows I would never be able to afford it.  See why I love my mom!

I also has to give serious props to my husband who, despite his disappointment that he can't go, said not to worry about the kids/daycare because he would do whatever need be done.  Love him.

Here is the deal, however.  I will be out of town for my planned 5K run on Mother's Day.  I was really bummed and thought I had ruined it all when I first realized what I'd done...but it was easy enough to google "5K in MN" to find TONS of 5K races coming up.  So, instead of a 5K in less than 5 weeks, I will run a 5K in less than 2 months :)  June 6 is my new running date and by then I will not only be able to barely make it, I will kick some 5K ass!  In all honesty, I am somewhat relieved that I have a little more time to train given my lackluster performance on the running last week.  Seriously!

Okay, I am going to spend some time being giddy now :)

As always, please take some time to vote for me.  I greatly appreciate you keeping me in the ranks :)

My child is a singing sensation :)

Noelle had her first choir concert (well, I consider it her first, the last school she went to had a horrible music program). It was very crowded and it was a standing room only kind of night. I am so impressed that there is so much parental involvement at her school! They sang some really fun songs -- all of which I recognized from Noelle singing them at home all of the time ;) I will also note that Noelle is the tallest second grader...yes, of ALL the second graders.

Here are some pic of the occassion (excuse my horrible, horrible camera -- I really need a new one).

See how far away we were? Haha!

I also caught a little video...can you spot my cute kid?

Finally, as a side note, I am feeling much better and plan to be back out running tomorrow :)  5K in less than 5 weeks, yikes!!

If you think my kid is cute...vote for me! Click below please :)

Either I will need therapy or my kids will!

One of the perks of being a parent: you get to decide how to raise your kids and, absent any sort of abuse, do so without much intervention (I am fortunate enough that my family stays the eff out of my biz - sorry to those who are not so fortunate).

One of the bummers of being a parent: you get to decide how to raise your kids without much intervention.

"Huh?" You say! May look confusing, but it is oh so true. We spent our entire child and teenage years quipping at our parents that we will "Never make my kid do ______!" or "Always let my kid get away with ______!" You should all now be nodding in agreement ;) Anyway, whether we kept to our promised parenting practices from years ago or not, we are now to the point in our lives where we are making choices that impact (greatly) the life of another human being. To me, that is seriously daunting.





In the beginning it seems simple enough - we simply have to decide how best to feed them, clothe them, bathe them, help them sleep, and any other general care decisions. As they grow, while the round the clock care may ease, the decision-making becomes more difficult. If I pick him up every time he cries will he turn out bratty? If I fail to let him play with other babies will fail to be adequately socialized? If I don't start the sippy cup now will he ever drop the bottle?

As difficult as decisions during infancy seem...I can guarantee the decisions get even worse! If I spank will my child become detached? If I don't play with her every day will she think I don't love her? If I don't allow her to participate in this sport/choir/other activity will we be missing out on a huge opportunity?


Now, I only have a 7 year old, so I cannot attest to what I assume will be an even more challenging run come the teenage years. What I can tell you is that I sometimes worry that what I do today will put my child in therapy. Am I pushing her too hard to achieve? Am I not being strict enough? I am sure I could question myself all day long. Sometimes I do - to the point where I will need therapy of my own.

So I guess the only thing left for me (and Anwar) to do at this point is make the decisions that we think are best and hope that they are. To make decisions knowing that my parents did the same and I ended up okay and in one piece.

Not that I plan to go willy nilly with this parenting thing - but I do plan to do whatever I think best and hope the pieces fall where they should.

Damn. Being a parent is super hard - phew! ;)

Oh yes, please vote for me! I have not been doing so hot in the ranks on TMB :(