My little man has grown so much...

Here are some shots from Nik's newborn photo session - taken when he was only 5 days old!  I put a few in for comparison to now as well :)

Then:

Now:

Guest Blogger: My Life and things I like.

I think you may recognize our guest blogger...she is a very intellegent girl from the midwest.  If you want to know about kids, she is the one to ask (it is like going right to the source).  She loves sports, her family and cats.  She is none other than....

NOELLE

Take it away Noelle...

ok,mom.Well first I want to say how much I love sports I love soccer and basketball and sometimes hockey but only at school I play the piano a litte I have great family member's too let's goooo.welllllllll,My life is hard sometimes and sometimes easy.We have a baby crying and school is hard evrything. I get to go to the blast,partys and all that fun stuff.

SOCCER GOALS one day at soccer I  scored  2 goals I tell you 2 it was so cool I almost smiled but I didn't want to. I didn't want to smile because I was shy. We sometimes played o the playgroud and after we had to say goodbye so sad so sad but luckly I went to basketball and found more friends.  

I really like california my mom had a wedding there it was fun but hurtful because my shoes hurt my feet.  the wedding  was on august 21 2009!


I am turning 8 years old this year and I am going to have my birthday at the park.We are going to have a water ballon fight and have a soccer cake.I really want my birthday in disneyland but I can't go.

I like blogging a little bit but it was some work.

bye.

**Please note this post was not edited for spelling, grammar or content ;)**

You should all be very excited.

I have a guest blogger coming.  I know, I know...guest bloggers are all the rage these days.  But MY guest blogger blows them all out of the water.  I promise, it will be epic.  Stay tuned :)

Happy Friday...here are some pics!

Random Acts of Kindness...

This blog was brought to my attention last week.  I found it both inspiring and uplifting that someone would take their birthday as a day to do nice things for other people.  I mean, honestly, it would make my day if the person ahead of me at Starbucks purchased my coffee or if I found enough money on the vending maching to buy a diet coke.  It would also make me more conscious of how I treat other people that day.

I believe we live in a world where people are downright rude.  Whether it is a failure of a large mass of individual parents or society as a whole, there is a general lack of respect for other people and other people's property.  For example, I was at Walmart one day (I hate that place) and while trying to get home so I could tend to my crying baby (he hates the carseat) I found myself stuck behind a large vehicle.  The driver had decided to stop in the middle of the aisle so to let out multiple passengers.  Fine, everyone does it...but this group of people took their dear sweet time getting out, debated who was coming along, got bags, put bags back, talked back and forth and couldn't care less who they were holding up.  When I finally honked to let them know we needed to move, the passengers moved even more slowly than before and laughed at my frustration.  It should be noted this was a grown woman with children in tow that she was encouraging to engage in such rude behavior.  I wont share the choice words I had for her...but it made me so upset that day. 

What if instead of the rude and uncivilized behavior, we could pay forward something kind?  You would be surprised how little it takes to make someone happy.  Last week my sister, who like many of us HATES shopping because of how clothes fit, confidantly wore a new outfit because a complete stranger told her how nice she looked.  I guess my point is that we don't need to purchase things for people to engage in an act of kindness, all we need to do it act like we care about others.  Why not offer the last shopping cart to a mom with small children in tow?  Why not let the person with two items go ahead of you at the grocery store check out?  How about telling someone that their shirt is nice or that you think their children are well behaved?  Or maybe just ensuring you are aware of what others are trying to do around you so not to impede them with your behavior? 

I think if we acted more like a civilized society I would like driving more, shopping more and being out in public more.  I wouldn't have to explain to my daughter why people ran into her at the mall without even a quick "I'm sorry."  It would be nice.

It is funny how opposites can both simutaneously be true.

While perusing my email and facebook page yesterday, I came upon two very true, yet very opposite things.

First, a law school friend of mine posted a link to the blog Third Tier Reality, a blog that aims to warn prospective law students of the saturated and econmically ruined legal market. One post in particular featured an ad pulled directly from the Alabama State Bar that sought a "Desperate Lawyer" willing to work for little pay, no benefits and in a primative workplace.

While I fully admit the poster of the advertisement was likely joking - I also have no doubt that there is a large amount of truth in that ad. Lawyers are quite desperate. I am certainly an example...graduated cum laude, have loads of great experience, great references and am generally considered a good applicant. But, put me up against all the other people just like me, or even worse those while more practice experience, and I am not likely to do well. I have now been unemployed for nearly eight months. So me and my fellow law school grads paid a pretty penny for our degrees and worked very hard only to find ourselves looking for anything that will even remotely cover our expenses...not to mention our student loan payments. Things can being to look very hopeless and dismal. After all, it seems unfair to have worked so hard for so long only to find yourself broke and unemployed.

In such hopelessness and pessimism, I got an email from my sister yesterday that acted as a reminder that no matter how bad I have it right now, tomorrow is another day. The email quoted Maya Angelou and read as follows:

'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she
handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled
Christmas tree lights.'

'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents,
you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'
'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a
life.'
'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a secondchance.'
'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt
on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back...'
'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I
usually make the right decision.'
'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'
'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.
People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back...'
'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn..'
'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget
what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'

Isn't that so true. Life may feel like it sucks today, but really you just need to get through today and know tomorrow brings new opportunities and new chances. No matter how hard my job search becomes - I just need to hang on and keep going because the job I didn't get today only leads to the job I will get tomorrow.

All in all, both the Facebook post and the email are true. I have never seen such a difficult legal market and I don't imagine it will let up anytime soon, nor be the same when it does. On the flip side, I will end up where I need to be and trust I will love every second of it.

Such a philosophical post today! Hope you liked it :)

xoxo

Only working out twice + eating everything + stress =

gaining one pound. What a bummer on a Monday morning. I sat here upset about it for a minute, then I realized that I really have not dedicated myself to losing weight at all for at least a couple of weeks and should consider myself lucky to not have gained it all back. So, today (and everyday) is a new day and I plan to lace up my shoes and get back to work.

I need more readily available healthy foods, as Mr. Nikolai has made it obvious that he will not allow me to do anything without him in my arms. I also need to workout at night - even though I am tired - because that seems to be my only time to do so. I really want to just throw in the towel right now...but know I can't.

...and so it continues...

xoxo

Dear dream apartment, where are you?

Well, we officially have less than 7 days to either find a new place to live or stay in our oh-so-cozy two bedroom, 900 square foot, apartment.  Don't get me wrong, our current apartment isn't horrible.  We are in a nice neighborhood, our unit has great upgrades and the rent is very reasonable.  However, we live on the third floor without an elevator, the only laundry room is on the first floor and it always smells like cigarette smoke in the halls (and at times in the kids' room).  Most importantly, four people in 900 square feet is about three people too many.

We (or I guess I should say me - I am the researcher in this relationship) began looking for a new place to live quite some time ago.  We wanted to spend no more than $50 in additional rent per month (tight budget people, tight budget) and for that money we wanted a few things: 1) at least 2 bedrooms and a den (3 bedrooms would be awesome) or we would settle for a really large 2 bedroom; 2) laundry on the same floor - or better yet - laundry in unit; 3) either an elevator or a ground level unit; and 4) more ameninties (e.g. pool, playground, you know...that stuff we don't have any of now).  We also knew we could not move any further from Noelle's school...and no, I am not at all willing to entertain the idea of a new school.

Well, in our past research we were certain a building very close to Noelle's school would work just fine.  Naturally, we showed up for our SCHEDULED showing and there wasn't anyone there to show us the place.  Plus, the entry was filthy and made me want to hurl a little bit.  Strike one.  So I quickly went online to look at some other possibilities (places I had seen online before) and scheduled an appointment for the next day.  The place was very nice, but the prices online were not correct and it put us out of our budget.  In addition, the bedrooms were tiny and we would barely be able to squeeze in there.  Strike two.  I called one last place who rent.com claimed had a rent special (the special would put the unit in our budget).  Unfortunately rent.com failed to accurately quote the special, as it did not apply to the three bedroom unit.  Strike three....I'm out.

So, while caring for my fussy baby mind you, I sat in my tiny apartment searching online for something better.  All I can even come up with using our teeny tiny budget is an apartment basically the same as what we already have.  I sit here asking myself several questions - is it worth moving to a place that is essentially identical to this one just to have laundry on our level?  Is it worth spending the money to move just so I can take Noelle to the pool?  Is it worth going through the hassle of packing/unpacking all so I can use the elevator on days when I have to carry the groceries and Nikolai up the stairs?  Is it worth spending more money per month even though my kids still won't get their own rooms? I don't know how to answer these questions.

Maybe my big fat apartment hunting fail is a sign that we should stay put until I find a job and we can better assess our finances.  Maybe I can't answer my questions because we simply do not have the resources we need to move right now.  I frequently say that I need to follow Anwar's lead and let go of my need for control...maybe that is the right thing to do here?  Again, I don't know.

What I do know is this is very frustrating.  So to my dream apartment, wherever you are, please find me soon...I'd like to pack my bags and move in, okay?

My main food group

Let's talk about my diet.  I love cereal.  I mean, love it so much that it likely makes up 95% of my diet (the other 5% is the milk that goes into the cereal).  I have no idea where this obsession with cereal began, but I somewhat suspect it came from me having the worst cooking skills known to man.  Really, ask any friend family member who has seen me try to cook.  It is bad.  But cereal, cereal is easy to prepare.  I grab a bowl and a spoon, pour the desired amount, add some milk and tada! I have a meal.  I can even do it one handed with Mr. Fussypants crying.  EASY.

So, more important than the cereal in general is the type of cereal I like to eat.  I am sure it would be better if I enjoyed a nice bowl of cheerios (without added sugar), but alas, I prefer the cereal marketed to children.  I would have to say my favorite is Capt Crunch with Crunch Berries.  I have no idea why I have to get those added berries to my cereal; I feel as though the berries make the meal complete.  Anwar, on the other hand, does not like the berries AT ALL.  This was quite a point of (humerous) contention between the two of us until the other night my brother so kindly pointed out to us both that we were being dumb.  More specifically, he said: "you guys know the berries are the same thing, just colored and shaped differently, right?"  Well, apparently we did not because we both dislike the other spouses' choice of Capt Crunch.  We are so sad.

Back to the cereal.  I love it so much I could eat it for all three meals and be totally content.  Although I am sure the nutritional value is next to nothing, I could just grab a multi-vitamin, right? LOL.  Also, what is up with the portion size? 1 Cup?  That is seriously the bottom layer of the bowl only!  I guess if I had smaller bowls it would be better, but I tend to fill my big bowls all the way up making my calorie intake at least triple what the box says it should be.  And I wonder why I can't lose weight...::sigh::

I doubt I will ever lose my desire for a nice bowl of cereal.  Why should I?  Isn't "dieting" really about making a lifestyle change?  So all should do is buy smaller bowls that make the portion look decent and try to eat some protien and veggies along with my Capt Crunch.  That way, I can fulfill my cereal cravings and be healthier...all and all it is easier said than done.  I will get there.

Because I like to win, I have posted a poll so we can decide once and for all which is better...Capt Crunch with or without Crunch Berries!

xoxo!

I made through 1/2 of a year...so did he :)

My beautiful little boy is six whole months today! He weighs in a 15.11 lbs (officially double his birth weight) and is 25.5" tall. He is learning new things every day, although, his favorites are still sticking out his tounge and blowing raspberries. He is so super close to crawling and I can just see it happening any day now.

Don't get me wrong, as great as all the above is, Nikolai is still a giant PITA. But, that said, who can resist this little face :)

Just as a note, the ride in the laudry basket is courtesy of my third floor apartment with only one laundry room...on the first floor.

His favorite toy right now :)

I am obviously no Olympian...

but doesn't watching those super athletes make you think: "if only I'd started skating at age 4" or "I wish I would have stuck with skiing."  I do.  I always wonder if I could have been some super awesome figure skater or downhill skier if I had just done it.  But, alas, I barely did ballet, much less figure skating.  Even more, I did not learn to ski until I moved to Minnesota - I am from Utah people, so that is really sad. 

A fellow blogger pointed out the other day that the choices we make lead us down different paths in life.  I couldn't agree more.  I frequently discuss with Anwar how I could have totally avoided where we are today (you know, living in Minnesota - broke and unemployed), but avoiding this would likely mean that I would not have all of the great things I do have now. 

More specifically, I have never wanted to stay in Minnesota (really, I hate it here) and started figuring out how to get to California fairly early on.  I actually started looking into transferring from the University of Minnesota to UCSD after my second year of undergrad...I soon thereafter found out I was pregnant with Noelle and thus going nowhere but back to my mom's house.  After graduating undergrad I started to prepare for law school.  I was convinced that I would apply to California schools and leave this place...then I met Anwar.  I decided to stay in Minnesota for school because I didn't want to leave him.  Fast forward to 2007, I began to prepare to take the California Bar Exam because I was not going to stay in Minnesota.  I got really chicken about it and then when rumors started that my firm wanted to hire me, I stayed.  I should add for good measure that my dumb ass should have taken the CA Bar because I scored high enough to waive into Minnesota (something that you cannot do the other way around).  So, here I stayed to work for a place that employed me for only a short time and then laid me off.  Why didn't I leave before?  Why did I let all of those things keep me here?

After some thought, I realized that had I gone to California on any of those occassions I would not have had the support of my family in raising Noelle.  I also would not have Anwar (long distance is NOT my thing).  Without Anwar, I would not have Nikolai.  I love my little family - despite our tough times.  Even though I may have avoided my personal issues had I followed my gut and left the state, I would not have my wonderful kids and I would be in a much different place.  I guess all in all you must take the good with the bad and conduct yourself accordingly. 

I will get to California!  We have plans for me to take the California Bar this summer and (hopefully) when I pass I can find a job in that beautiful state....and I can bring my wonderful family with me :)

30 DS: What a difference a shoe makes!

I will get to the shoes in a second because I have to yell out: I LOST 2.4 POUNDS! I was shocked when I stepped on the scale and saw the number...I had to check twice to make sure I didn't just need some coffee.  I almost jumped for joy, but it was only 4:30 a.m., so I am sure my neighbors appreciated my self control.  I honestly have no idea what I did differently this week.  I actually thought I did really bad (damn those red velvet cupcakes), but apparently not.  Yay!  I am down a total of 6.4 pounds :)  I actually feel better about my venture and have a little extra spark!

Now on to those shoes.  My dear sweet husband was tricked into buying me a new pair of shoes for Valentine's Day (thanks honey).  I went to the shoe store and picked out a nice pair of white and pink Nike shoes (they are really cute too).  I did level 2 of the shred last night and my shins didn't hurt afterwards!  My knees were okay, my feet didn't cramp up and I felt good!  Yay for new shoes! 

I must say that level 2 is a killer.   I did my workout, then cleaned out the litter box, then vacuumed, then took a shower and was STILL trying to catch my breath.  During the plank twists I just fell to the ground and thought I was going to die.  I know it will get better and I will be stronger for it.  I think back to my first days of level 1 and recall how hard it was...but now I can do it NO problem.  To those thinking they want to start - do it!!

Okay, that is all for now.  Noelle has the day off of school and needs a playmate :)

xoxo

In Honor of Valentine's Day

I must be one lucky girl. I found a great man who will put up with me, pick me up when I fall down, help me see what really matters and at the end of the day loves me more today than yesterday. Love you, Anwar.

Photo fail and having a Blast!

All 13 of you that voted have indicated that you would love to hear more about the kids, a little about me and even less about weight loss. So it appears I basically had it right to begin with...although, I can't say that 13 people are representative of the hundreds that visited my blog from the beginning to the end of the poll...but, those who speak win!

Per your wishes, we will start with Nikolai's six month photos...no, I don't have them yet. I will tell you that there will not be much to see when I do get them because the kid cried for 95% of the session. I deem that a photo shoot FAIL! The photographer (who we had never worked with by the way, or normal photog left the biz!) maybe got a few shots of Nik in his adorable Old Navy outfit, but that is about it. She got a few pics of Noelle and that was it. FAIL, FAIL, FAIL. I guess I should reserve judgment until I see the pics next week...but really, I can't imagine they will look good.

As for Ms. Noelle, she has been acting out quite a bit as of late. My typically well-behaved, sweet, obedient child has been very blatently not listening, throwing fits, pouting, whining and just being a pain. I have to figure she is starving for attention because she does all of the above on Nikolai's tough days (you know, the days where I do nothing but try to comfort, entertain and quiet Nik). Poor kid. She just wants something to be about her and not about this new pain in the butt that has entered into our lives. After she began misbehaving at my sister's house, I knew she needed to do ANYTHING that was remotely geared towards her. So we went to the Blast (an indoor playground). In Noelle's words, it was a blast :) She had a ton of fun, ran out some energy, found a friend to play with and loved every second. I promised we could return soon. We so will because the girl came back home and was her normal - wonderful - self.

Here are some very poorly taken pics of Noelle playing and Mr. Nikolai doing what he does :)




See Noelle? Look way up :)

xoxo - LATER!

Beautiful Blogger Award!

Look at me! What a nice blogger award!

Here is how it works:
1. Thank the person who nominated me for this award.
2. Copy the award & place it on my blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated me for this award.
4. Share 7 interesting things about myself.
5. Nominate 7 bloggers.

1. I'd like to that the fantasic Mrs. M for nominating me for this award! What a doll.

2. Scope out the pretty award!

3. If you'd like to check out my nominator's blog, you can find her at Welcome to the Zoo! where she chronicles the zoo (family) she runs!

4. Seven things about me: I am a singer (although I don't perform for anyone but myself anymore), I have freckles and LOVE them, my favorite TV show is the Amazing Race, I am absolutely obsessed with Disneyland, I tried out for a reality show once (Pop Star) and was booted immediately, I have two cats named Princess and Newton, and my favorite flower is the Cala Lily!

5. You should all go see the seven blogs who nominate for this award:

Avery and Me
Last Splash
Life with Natalie
Look at the Birds
Molly and Mommy
The Young Moma Blog
One + One = Three

Hope you all enjoy this as much as I did!

xoxo

Shhhh, don't tell. I have a small (big) obsession.

I am utterly obsessed with Babylegs. They are so cute, so soft, easy to put on, make changing diapers a snap....and come on - just scope out Nik in them!

While some find them much too girly, I think Nikolai pulls it off very well. Despite Anwar asking why his son was wearing tights - I still put them on :) Here are some pics of my little obsession!

On a day like today I question my parenting skills.

I started the day off by getting puked on. Twice. After getting my infant back to sleep for a short time, I got up only to get peed on. After commesurating with some friends, we all joked that it could only get better from there. Yeah, right. Mr. Nikolai proceeded to cry ALL DAY LONG. I could capture his interest for no more than three minutes at a time. No playing, no holding, no sleeping, no rocking, no jumperoo, no books, no Special Agent Oso...nothing. I simply resolved to letting him cry in my arms. I finally decided to give the poor kid some tylenol (for that teething my pediatrician says isn't happening yet) and I couldn't find the stuff anywhere. I started to look and realized that my whole apartment looks like a warzone and I would need to call out a search and rescue team to find the damn stuff. I gave up and just rubbed his gums. If you're wondering, that didn't work either.

So I always say I have one perfect child...Noelle. I think, today she is my saving grace - she totally will make up for PITA. Then the girl says to me: "Mom, what do you mean when you say pick up my room?" WTF!! Then she just looked at me like she'd never cleaned her room in her life! So I have a non-stop whiner and a seven year old who doesn't know how to do simple household chores. Where did I go wrong??? Today, my insticts, past experience or common knowledge failed me. As a parent you hope to be able to handle every issue that arises as best you can...unfortunately today my best was not enough. I hate that.

I could've kissed Anwar's feet when he got home from work because I knew I would get some relief. I mean, the closest I got to a break today was leaving Nikolai in his jumper crying so I could give Noelle a snack. He was nice enough to get me some food and take the hell monster away. I got a breather and then jumped back in to help get the kid to bed.

I now sit here typing away without a screaming child in one arm (look ma, two handed typing!) and watching (sort of) Survivor. I came precariously close the line separating sanity and insanity today. I mean, seriously, I no longer want a job to make some money and have a career, I want a job to get a fricking lunch break. Better yet, I would like to go to the bathroom in peace! Since that seems to be nowhere in sight, I can only hope that tomorrow is better. Trip #1 will be to target to get some tylenol.

Laughing and crying!

So, I thought you'd enjoy a little laughter!



I will also tell you about Mr. Nikolai's new tricks: he reaches out for me (awww) and he cries everytime I leave the room (boo)! Noelle is still perfect :)

30 DS: I have revisted the infamous water break.

Somebody made the observation the other day that on level 2, Jillian put the exercises in a very odd order. In all seriousness, the hardest moves are at the very end, which is the point where I feel as though I want to die. During the last plank move, I just fell to my knees and put my head on the ground praying that somehow I could just snap my fingers, be skinny and never have to see Jillian again. Of course I know that isn't reality, but a girl can dream, right? Thus far I absolutely despise the second set of abs and the army press/leg lifts. What killers! I really did take the five seconds Jillian allows to walk over and sip my water before resubjecting myself to her torture. Much like level 1, I seriously hope it gets better by next week.

I also really need to address my emotional ties to food. I had a really bad day yesterday (remember the whole why the hell did I work my ass of in school only for employers to not give two shits problem I have). I decided to drowned my sorrows in a hostess cupcake...or two...and it only made me feel worse. Although cliche, it really is a vicious cycle. I just need something else to make me feel better. I used to go shopping, but my serious debt reflects how bad that habit was too. I am not sure what else to do - so any suggestions are welcome.

On today's docket, apply for a few jobs, mail off our state taxes (yay refund) and some other letters, do some laundry (courtesy of Nik's spit up) and help Noelle finish off her Valentines for school. Whohoo!

xoxo

How a single mom becomes a co-parent

We all know I started this little journey of mine as a single mom. Let me tell you, being a single mom is one of the toughest jobs there is (ha! I have now one-uped the stay at home mom vs. working mom debate). But, there is one huge perk to being a single parent - nobody but you gets to make the rules and decisions. Should Noelle get her vaccines? I got to decide yes (as every sane person should). Should Noelle get time outs or spankings? I chose which was appropriate. Should Noelle be named Noelle? I fortunately chose that over some other choices...yeah. So although it was really rough, I chose our path on my own.

Now, if you've known me for any period of time you also know that I like to get my way. Combine this with my former single parenthood decision freedom - and this new co-parenting thing is not easy to swallow. I wanted to name him Xavier, Anwar wanted to name him Nikolai. Obviously Anwar got that one. How do we handle lack of sleep? Do we get him the H1N1 shot? Do we allow him to go out late at night? Do we let people babysit? I must admit that sometimes I forget that I am supposed to ask somebody else if this is what we should be doing. While Anwar and I have been lucky in that we've only had a few spats over parenting decisions - I still struggle with giving up my total control...because I know that I am not always going to get "my way." What about future decisions regarding things such as grades (we have already majorly disagreed about school achievement - you can all guess where type A Anne falls), religion, money? Things I never had to decide with anyone else...now I have to compromise.

As with anything in life, I am probably better off knowing that I have to let go and that there may be trouble ahead. Maybe I will luck out and things will go super smooth! Despite my need to have my way...I am VERY glad that I am not a single parent anymore, as having a husband makes life much better than struggling to raise a child alone.

That is Anne's thought of the day! Happy Tuesday - don't forget to watch The Biggest Loser :)

It begins again...level 2!

As I sit here dripping sweat and shaking from head to toe, I wonder how it is I could feel so in shape doing level 1 and like such a complete fatty doing level 2. Seriously, it is hard. Probably for the best because I needed a new challenge to reignite my weight loss venture. The new moves are definitely more difficult and more intense. I must say I felt like puking during the second set of abs and passing out during the last set of cardio. And while Miss Jillian is typically VERY annoying, I did appreciate her saying to keep going so I could go jean shopping...I really do want to go and found I have dropped a size or something. I will be seeing her again tomorrow!

As for the scale...at least it didn't go up. I maintained my weight which is a complete miracle. I need someone to follow me around saying "don't eat that" or "hey fat ass, don't go to the kitchen!" Anyone up for that?

I have decided to post 2-3 times a week about my weight loss stuff. First of all, The Heir To Blair blog does McFatty Mondays. I like to participate each week, so you all will hear from me every single Monday :) I will also likely post on Wednesday and Friday or Saturday. Aren't you excited. Keep rooting me on...it really does help!

Ta-ta!

Mixing kids with marriage doesn't always make a lump free batter.

Anwar and I have never had a time in our relationship without a child. Noelle was two when we met (nevermind the part where he didn't know she existed until partway through our first date) and was obviously always around. However, when Anwar and I were dating, we had babysitters or quite nights at home. There really was not a 24 hour demand regarding Noelle either. She has always been very independent and could easily entertain herself. Anwar and I always had time for just each other and even with Noelle around could easily cuddle up to a "G" rated movie and happily enjoy ourselves. I guess it is best to say, in our early years, Anne and Noelle very easily transitioned into Anne, Noelle and Anwar.

Adding a newborn to the mix was not easy and poses new challenges each day. Finding time for each other and for the family is difficult at best. Lack of sleep, busy schedules, crying, dinner, night routines that must be kept, non-stop child caring has all equalled a massive lack of time for me and Anwar. Add in Anwar's mandatory overtime and we basically don't see each other. Weekends are a bust as well. There are always errands to run, cleaning to do and nap times to meet. When we do eventually find ourselves with two sleeping children we are so tired (physically) and sick of dealing with other people (be it dealing with children or people who act like children) that we don't even want to deal with each other. We won't go into Anwar's belief that my laptop and my addiction to blogging/chatting with friends is wasting me away...but I will say our time with each other needs to improve.

I know my husband loves me and we are both working towards balancing our lives with the lives of our kids. So I know I need to make a more conscious effort to make time for us. Instead of going to bed early on Saturday, why not stay up the extra hour to watch a movie with him? Instead of letting Anwar take the morning shift with Nikolai alone, why not get up with him and watch a DVR'ed tv show? Instead of trying to go out to dinner (impossible with our sleep issues), why not go out to lunch? Or even a quick date to Starbucks?

When it was just a JD + Two, life was fairly easy and there was plenty of time for me to spend with each member of my family. But, as life grows, we must grow too. What we used to do isn't really possible any longer - so we just need to find what works now.

So I am off to calendar some date time for me and Anwar...any volunteers to watch my two beautiful children ;)


I'll leave you with some great pics of the kids!

xoxo

Tell me what you like!

So, my blog was originally intended to be a way for me to express myself and feel like a grown up on a regular basis. I am not really a "mommy blog" because I talk about myself too much (haha, I must love the attention) and I am not really a weight loss blog because I have too much life going on for that. However, I feel like a lot of people really liked reading about my attempts to be a skinny biotch. So...I have a poll (look to your right) and would like to know what you want to hear about. If you want something different - leave a comment and let me know!

My Noelley and her school projects!

Noelle is Special Person of the Week at school so she made a box with some of her favorite things inside. She will tell the class all about her items and why they are so special.

She also made her Valentine's Day box. I think they turned out really cute! Nikolai was intrigued by the whole thing.

Just more evidence that Noelle is indeed perfect!

I've decided I'm just a little crazy....well, maybe more than that.

I am by nature a planner (we have already discussed my hyper type A personality as well). I always want to be planning something - anything. Every time someone needs a flight, they call me to scope prices and times. Even when I am not specifically asked to do anything...I plan anyway.

Case in point...my brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law's upcoming wedding. We discussed the wedding once with Annie (the bride to be). Ever since that time I have been on a planning rampage! I started looking at venues, food, taking pictures, driving to parks...and yes, this is NOT my wedding. I even starting making an excel spread sheet of prices, places and capacities. I was so embarrassed by it that I erased it. I am crazy! I mean, honestly, that is pretty over the top.

Also, Noelle had a school assignment where she needed to discuss something for which she considers herself to be an expert. She chose Disneyland (good girl) and it would have been more than sufficient for her to memorize a few sentences to tell the class. But no, I found pictures of her at Disneyland and made a little poster board for her to show the class. Plus I taught her how to put her presentation on note cards so that she could tell the class about her subject without looking down all the time or getting lost in a big sheet of paper. It was like a big high preparing for MY SECOND GRADER'S presentation. Gah! The presentation was awesome though.

So, not only do I need rehab for my food addiction, but I also need rehab for my addiction to planning and details. I am crazy. Good lord.

30 DS - Day 30: I DID IT!

I have officially finished! Although a day late, today was day 30 of The 30 Day Shred. I did not take any of my notorious "water" breaks and I felt so good! I went from being 100% sedentary to working out an average of 5 days a week. Pretty damn good if you ask me.

If you'd like my final verdict on the 30 DS, here it is: I would do it all over again. I did not lose the "up to 20 pounds" as stated on the DVD cover, but I did gain a lot of muscle, lost my shortness of breath and lost a few inches. I do not like that it has been so hard on my legs. My legs are seriously sore every day - which I can assume is not a good thing. Also, Jillian gets annoying, but it is a small price to pay. Overall, I give it two thumbs up and would recommend it.

I am not done. I consider this only the beginning, as I have quite a ways to go. I plan to move up to level 2 of The 30 Day Shred and alternate that with the elliptical so I can try and save my legs. I probably wont blog every day about it anymore, but will update a few times a week. If you want me to blog every day about my workout/diet...let me know. I am so a people pleaser :)

Goal #1 achieved! Time to keep going!

Special Agent Oso is the best show ever!

Nikolai really likes Special Agent Oso! This is a clip of him watching his favorite part :)

Recipe Sharing Here!!

As some of you may know, I frequent The Bump for advice, venting, gossip and friendship. I asked the other day how to stay on the diet bandwagon and the response I received was that planning is the key. On the weekend do whatever need be done such that all your meals are ready to go. Boy, were my little bumpie friends right.

Today I needed to go to my mom's house because our lot was being plowed and so I had nowhere to park. I forgot to eat before I left and got to my mom's house to discover that there was NOTHING to eat...except for these little valentine cookies she presumably bought for the kids. So all day I ate cookies and was so hungry by the time I left that I stopped at Burger King and got a nasty, greasy burger. Yes, I feel gross now.

Since preparation is the key, I figure I need some good - and healthy - recipes that I can shop for in advance. I would LOVE if you would share yours with me! Leave a comment with the recipe and me (plus all my readers) can enjoy!

I'll start. You all know I have a brownie weakness. So (thanks to a little intro from my friend Megan) I am going black bean! Check out this Weight Watchers Black Bean Brownie recipe! So yummy and so much better for me :)

Let the sharing begin...and GO!

Rest in Peace, dear sweet Pampered Chef Stoneware Baking Sheet

The Pampered Chef Stoneware Baking Sheet, or as I like to refer to him, Pampy, lived a good life. Pampy was always there to ensure the perfect golden brown during each and every one of Anne's baking sessions. The metal baking sheet Anne used on occasion just did not compare. For six years, Anne treated you so well. Always scraped after each use, never let soap touch your flawless surface and always stored you where no chips or cracks would occur. Pampy was always the best for Anne's chocolate chip cookies, which she made primarily to eat the dough, but could always count of good ol' Pampy to bake the remainder to perfection.

But alas, Anne's good care of you came to an end. It was that fateful day when Anne turned the oven to 450 degrees so to eat just a few tator tots. It was too late by the time Anne realized you still had some cookie crumbs on your baking surface. Despite your blemishes, Anne still put you in the oven and let the soil cook deep into your skin. Anne made every effort to resuscitate you - but your surface had burned beyond recognition and the tator tots tasted poorly as a result.

Tears were shed as Anne slowly and regretfully put you into the trash. We are all sad that you are gone...maybe a little more sad that there will be no more cookies until Anne can afford to replace you.

Rest in peace Pampy, rest in peace.

Want an awesome teething toy?

Then you should visit The Young Mama Blog to win a Sophie! I have posted about Sophie before, Nik loves his little GF Sophie. Just go to the blog and do as you're told!

Ta-ta!

30 DS - Day 29: Getting My Motivation Back!

I am one day away from what I set out to do...the 30 Day Shred. I am very happy that I have gotten to this point, although I am in the midst of regaining my motivation. Unfortunately, regaining my motivation has equaled regaining some weight. I have to add .6 of a pound to my overall weight. I really was not surprised based on my horrible habits last week...but I was really disappointed.

I have lost some inches though!! I have lost total: 2" off my hips, 3" off my waist and 1.75" off my arms. My thighs won't budge though...just call me thunder thighs Anne!

Today is a new day. The Weight Watchers points are being logged, the Shred is being sweated out and I am still going! I think the toughest part for me is making a firm commitment to changing my lifestyle. Really, I can't eat cookie dough every day? I can't just veg out in front of the TV from morning to night? I can't just live vicariously through the Biggest Loser contestants? While it would be so nice, this I must do on my own. Keep going, Anne!