Fork in the road.

My goal, initially, when I went to the chiropractor was to fix my feet.  As some of you may recall, it was determined that my feet were just fine, but were hurting due to other things wrong with my body.  With a couple of adjustments and a major overhaul of my diet, I am happy to say my feet feel just fine. 

Now, when you cut sugar, flour, wheat, corn, artificial flavor, alcohol and processed foods out of your diet you are bound to lose weight.  After realizing this is what I could do to cut the excess poundage - I got a bit excited inside.  Could this be it?  Could this finally be the way I get my body back?

Well, as the pounds came off and my food restrictions tightened, you would think that I would be thrilled to be on my way to my goal weight. 

Not so much.

Every day I get up and dread going to the fridge to gather my permitted ingredients for each meal.  I find myself standing in front of the fridge attempting to convince myself to eat what I am supposed to eat.  I get sick just thinking about what I am supposed to eat because it simply does not sound appetizing. 

So, rather than suck it up and eat it, I did what you are not supposed to do.  I either drank a protein shake (no slim fast people, a no sugar, no frills powder that I mix with soy milk) or I did not eat at all.  There have been many, many times that I consumed no more than 800 calories in a day. 

This is bad.  Bad for many reasons.  First, eating so few calories defeats the purpose of eating healthy because you are not getting the nutrients you need.  Second, it is a poor mindset. Finally, it is sad that I have that big of an aversion to healthy eating.

It got bad enough that Anwar told me he thinks I should stop.  Stop the restrictions and try something else.  He says it has impacted my mood big time and he sees how much the stress from thinking about food all the time wears on me.  He also said that doing this was supposed to make me more happy and that it appears I am more miserable than before.  All I could think when he said this was: if I stop, I will be fat for the rest of my life.  If I stop the only thing that has worked this well, what next?  I don't know the answer to that question.

What is the fork in the road?  Stick it out on the food restrictions and be more proactive about trying new things and embracing a new way of eating...or stop and hope that I can find a new plan. 

I am not sure what to do.  I do know that I want my body back.  I do know that I want to keep running.  What I don't know is what I need to do to get there.

I am a work in progress...so this is to be continued.

*edit: I should add (I already got the question and realized I was not clear) that as far as my doctor is concerned I should eat this way (or not far from it) for life due to my borderline diabetes.  So, anything new, cannot be too different.