A fellow blogger recently had some boudoir pics done (this is a link to a super cool blog, NOT naked pictures, haha). I mentioned this to Anwar and he said that he would not at all mind having some of those pics (of me, not Mom-In-A-Million). I laughed, really hard, and said that there is no way those pictures would be any form of attractive. His response was that maybe after I get where I want to be (weight wise) I can reconsider. I look down and relented how I'd been trying to lose weight more than half of my life...and look at me. When Anwar told me it just had to be more important to me I wanted to smack him.
So why don't I just give up? I have actively been trying to lose weight since January 2010. That was 7 months ago and guess what - I lost very little weight and have regained it ALL. I have friends who eat whatever they want and look great. I have friends who just cut out soda and lose 10 pounds. I have friends who did C25K and lost oodles of weight. I have to restrict my diet to the very core to lose ANY weight. I did C25K and lost nothing. I think about eating any food whatsoever and I gain weight (I know this last one isn't really true, but it sure feels like it). Why do I try so hard and see no results, yet keep going?
I have to be really honest here that just about every day I just want to be fat for the rest of my life and live with the misery of my clothes not fitting, worrying about what others think of me and risking my overall health just to not be so frustrated anymore. Well, there are two things. One, I doubt I will ever really be happy until I like what I see when I look in the mirror. Second, the moment I lose ambition and desire to achieve is the moment I truly stop living. I can't give up.
So, later today I will know a bit more about my injury and any dietary restrictions that may follow (I am guessing a detox is in order). After that I know my weight loss story needs to have an end and it needs to be a happy one. Stay tuned.
- Anne
- Hi, I'm Anne! I'm a formerly unemployed attorney who aspires to be a great working mom. I have two great kids and married a chiropractor turned IT guy. I am nearly 30 years old...and I have informed my family that I will be 29 for the rest of my life..hehe! I sing in the car, shower, at the dinner table and in response to phrases, I really like sushi (yum) and seriously enjoy being around my family (yay for the siblings)! Go me :) Need to contact me? ajdplusthree@gmail.com
digital kit by designs by krista
1 comments:
i have a horrible slow metabolism - have had it all my life. also, a healthy appetite. when i had bulimia and anorexia during my teens and twenties, yes, i dropped down to the coveted size 2. of course, i only had enough energy to glare into the camera and smoked a zillion ciggies to stay focused. fun (not).
it's really hard to lose weight the regular way in my case, but it can be done. i just can't expect a size 2. maybe an 8, if i'm lucky. it's tough to watch all the floaty girls of summer prance in their short outfits and tight blouses (sans love handles). ah well, i like autumn fashions better anyhoo.
ok, i've turned this into a mini blog post. what i'm trying to say is this: go for the challenge, but try to love yourself along the way. TRY. it's hard. but you are adorable and beautiful AND very strong. so you'll make your goal. (another more practical bit of advice is to ignore the weight and focus on the INCHES - my nutritionist used to always remind me of that).
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